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As the New Year rolls around once again, it is the season for setting resolutions. New Year’s Resolutions are like perennial flowers—a quick show, then they are wilted and gone. Most resolutions are broken as fast as or even faster than they were made. How can you make resolutions that stick, and that change your life?

Oftentimes, people equate the desire to change with the actual change. “I want to do this…” is as far as the change gets. We all know just talking won’t get results, but it makes us feel better to verbalize our goals. Verbalizing goals is merely the first of many steps to making a change. Additional thought and other steps are necessary if real change is to happen. Here are four tips to help make changes that are real and permanent.

1.) Make positive goals, not negative ones. Your brain responds better to positives than negatives, so you need to word your goal to focus on what you can or will do rather than what you want to stop. Say, “I will put all my paperwork away after I’m finished with it,” rather than saying “I won’t put all my paperwork in a pile.” We are set up to accomplish things, and we do ‘will’ things better than ‘won’t’ things. In my example, it is easier to figure out a system of where to immediately put the paperwork rather than figuring out what to do with a huge pile of paperwork at the end of a day when you want to go home.

2.) Visualize the end product after you have made your changes. If you are going on a diet, put a photo of the new dress or swimsuit you want where you will see it constantly. If you want to improve your job standing, visualize being praised by the boss, or getting the “Employee of the Month” award. For example, Photoshop your face on last month’s employee of the month photo and keep it to refer to. Just don’t let other employees or your boss see it until it is a reality! If you are saving money for a new gadget, get a photo of the gadget you want and have it to refer to daily. If you want to go on a Caribbean cruise, put a seashell on your desk. The point here is that you need something visual to continue to motivate you towards your goal.

3.) Make a plan to achieve your goal, in easy steps. If your goal is to lose 20 pounds, start at the end goal and plan backwards. On paper, write down your goal. Then under that, write the last thing you would do before you achieve the goal. Then, below that, write down the step previous to that one, until you have reached the point you are at today, when you make the resolution. You should end up with a ‘roadmap’ of easily achievable steps to take you to your goal. If you see a step that seems to be too big, create smaller steps in between the big ones. Now you have a series of easily achievable steps to get you toward your goal. As you complete each baby step, it will increase your motivation to continue on, and also increase your confidence that ‘I can do this!’

Block areas where your plan can get derailed. If you want to lose weight, don’t put ice cream in your refrigerator. If you want to impress your boss, don’t hang at the water cooler discussing last night’s game. Remember step 1, and plan for ‘I will…’ rather than ‘I won’t…” ideas. Put low-fat yogurt in the ‘fridge or bring bottled water to keep at your desk.

4.) Write it down! Record your progress, or lack thereof, toward your goal in a journal or log. Document things so you know what works and doesn’t work. You may find an unexpected distraction that you need to avoid in the future to reach your goal. Writing things down leads to changes, even if you are not trying to change.

Here, you have to be brutally honest with yourself. If you slip up and have a chocolate bar when you are trying to diet, you need to write it down rather than ‘forgetting’ to document it. Your log at first will have victories and defeats recorded in it, but later on, the victories will outnumber the defeats. If they don’t, it is time to rethink your plan, figuring out why the plan isn’t working, and modifying it so it will work. Perhaps a temptation is too much for you to handle alone. Get a partner, someone who you share your goal with who will help you through the difficult times with encouraging words and actions. Perhaps you find that your surroundings are contributing to your failure. Is there a way to modify your surroundings or get you out of the difficult surroundings?

These steps will help you make your goals a reality. Set the proper goals—positive ones that begin with “I will…” rather than negative ones that begin with “I won’t…” Visualize the end product of your goal each day, using a physical object or photo rather than just an image in your imagination. Make a plan of baby steps that you can easily accomplish. This will get your motivation up as you complete each baby step toward your goal. Finally, keep a log of your progress. Know what works and what doesn’t work. Get a partner to keep you on track toward your goal. Then when you have achieved your goal, celebrate! Make it a good memory so that you remember this victory when another challenge comes along!

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